1. Keep Your Emotions in Check

Emotions often run high in conflict situations. This can cause you to react in a way that lacks grace or compassion. It's much more difficult to ask for forgiveness later if you let your emotions get the best of you during conflict. Keeping your emotions in check means allowing the other person to finish without interrupting, keeping your voice quiet, staying calm and avoiding negative or harsh language.

2. Wait If You Need To

It's not always easy to keep your emotions under control, especially when the conflict is fresh. Even if you want to resolve the problem immediately, it's sometimes better to take a step back and wait for the initial emotions to calm down a bit. It's easier to act with grace and compassion when you've had time to process your feelings. How long you need to wait depends on how you handle emotions and the severity of the situation. If it's a major conflict, you might need several days to work through your thoughts before you're ready to reach out.

It's also important that you respect the other person's need for time. They might need a few days or even longer to work through their feelings before they're ready to talk. While you don't want to abandon the situation completely, you should respect the boundaries the other person puts in place. You're more likely to have a positive, graceful conversation when you're both ready to talk.

3. Act With Empathy

It's easy to see the conflict from your side — you're the one living it. It's not always easy to see the other person's side of things. Practicing empathy and putting yourself in their shoes can help you act with grace. You might realize that the things you're saying or doing are being interpreted differently than you intend. It could help you consider the other person's past experiences and how that's affecting their behavior now. You might also need to consider personality types and how you might process things differently because of that. Being empathetic can often make it easier to meet in the middle and find a solution that works for everyone.

4. Listen More Than You Talk

Being empathic is easier when you actively listen to the other person. It's natural to defend your actions or share your point of view when you're trying to resolve a conflict. It takes self-control to stop your thoughts and let the other person speak while you fully absorb what they're saying. You can make sure you're truly hearing the other person by repeating what they say back to them in different words. This gives them the chance to clarify if you're not hearing them accurately.

5. Hone in on the Issue, Not the Other Person

When you're upset with someone, you might hold a grudge against them personally. You might accuse them of things or focus on what they're doing wrong when you try to resolve the conflict. This can feel like a personal attack to the other party. Instead, focus on the specific issue or behavior rather than making it all about the person. You might explain how their actions are affecting you instead of just telling them they're being mean, for example.

6. Be Willing to Compromise

Conflicts aren't always clear-cut, with one person being completely correct and the other being wrong. Both people should have their needs met and feel valued in a relationship. If only one person gets their way, it's likely to build resentment and ongoing tension, which can lead to additional conflict. Be willing to compromise without completely sacrificing your needs.

7. Forgive When Needed

Moving past conflict often requires a healthy dose of forgiveness. If the other person does something that hurts your feelings, you might need to find a way to forgive them, even if you can't completely forget what they did. This can help you both move forward with grace. There's also a good chance you'll need to be forgiven at some point. Getting into the habit of practicing forgiveness can create a healthy dynamic in the relationship.

8. Seek Support

Some conflicts might require outside support for you to get through. You might visit a therapist individually if you're struggling to forgive or work through the emotions of the situation. If you have an unresolved conflict with your partner, marriage counseling together could help you move through the conflict. You might also seek counsel from religious leaders in your church or turn to your friends at Bethesda Gardens Thornton to get a different perspective on the situation.

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